This Is The Story That Never Ends
by Crusnik Cain
Summary: A completly random story scraped from my insanity. Charaters may be OOC...Ah, who am I kidding? They are OOC. Rated for possible language.
1. The Begining of Never Ending

This is the story that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, this story has to end, but it will not for it's mine, hey wait that didn't ryme, but who cares it's my song....Ehem, anyway, yeah this story is random and all charaters are OOC...Why did I pick Saiyuki?...Because I felt like it.

Chapter One...The Beginning of Never Ending

One day on a square planet, there were two figures.

One had brown hair...and the other had brown hair (gasp!). They were named Hakkai and Goku (I never would have guessed). Hakkai walks up to Goku,"Hi," he says.

"Hi," answers Goku. A few seconds go by,"Hi," says Goku again.

"Why did you say hi again?" asks Hakkai.

"...Because I'm high," Goku answers.

"...," was the only thing Hakkai said. (Or thought). They stare at eachother for several seconds, then Gojyo randomly makes his appearence in between the two. He looks at Hakkai, then Goku, then Hakkai, then Goku, then...he walks away (HA! psyched you out). Then Hakkai swirls around dramaticly to face Gojyo's retreating back.

"Wait!!! Why didn't you say hello? I thought we were friends!!! (Or more...hee, hee, hee)," he shouted dramaticly. But, lo and behold, Gojyo has no responce. Hakkai then turns to the stoned Goku. Hakkai then took Goku by the collar and chucked him as far as he could. Hakkai then (Why am I starting all of these sentences with "Hakkai then"?) chases after Gojyo.

But Goku lay forgotten, stoned on the cold, hard dirt. The camera slowly moves up his body. When it reaches his face, his eyes open. (Dun, dun, da!!!)

The End...?

There you have it! The first chapter in The Story That Never Ends!!! Please review, for this is my first fanfiction posted on the internet. Flame me if you wish, for they keep me warm in the cold nights.

(As for dissapointed Sanzo fans, don't worry, he'll be in the next chapter)

In edition, to those who are wondering, my pen name (ame-tennyo) means "Rain Goddess". No, I do not think of my self as a goddess (well, yes I do.) My real name means rain in Japanese. Cool, eh?


	2. Misunderstandings and 3rd Degree Burns

Thanks SOOOOOO much to my first reviewer! I'm SOO happy! Yes, I do realize that I have spelling errors, but no more! And if I do, you may scould me in the form of a flame!

CHAPTER TWO!!! CHAPTER TWO!!! CHAPTER TWO!!!...Last time I seem to have forgotten to give out a diclaimer, so here Happy Dance Man comes in(see my bio for details).

Happy Dance Man: She does not own anything but $10, millions of DVDs, CDs, and other anime stuff, and six cats.

Super Titles: Idiot! Don't reveal she has money!

Happy Dance Man: Oh, oops, sorry!

On with the chapter!

Chapter Two...Misunderstandings and 3rd Degree Burns

But Goku lay forgotten, stoned on the cold, hard dirt. The camera slowly moves up his body. When it reaches his face, his eyes open. He sits up slowly, rubbing his head were it had made cotact with the ground,"I'm hungry," he said to himself(Yes, Goku. Being high can do that).

With Hakkai. He is still running after Gojyo,"Damn you! Why must you walk so fast?!" with that, Hakkai jumps a great distance, and lands on Gojyo. Gojyo shifts around so that the two are belly to belly,"What was that for?!" he asked.

With Goku. He is looking in all directions, in search of food. He takes a few steps forward, and falls into a lake that randomly appears. Only thing is, this lake was filled with oil.

Sanzo walks up.(SANZO!!!) He looks at Goku, who is dog-paddling to the edge of the lake. He looks at Hakkai and Gojyo, who are arguing while Hakkai is atop the latter,"I choose not to ask..." he says.

"Wait! It's not what you think!" yells Gojyo. The pink-haired man then turns his attention back to Hakkai,"Would you mind getting off me? You're getting heavy."

"I'm not fat!" exclaims Hakkai.

"I never said you were! I said you are getting heavy! GETTING!!!" with that, Gojyo pushes Hakkai off of himself.

Sanzo turns his atten tion back to Goku, who has almost reached the edge. Sanzo pulls out a cigarette and lights it.(Remember, the lake is made of oil) Sanzo pulls out another cigarette and smokes both at the same time. He then pulls out the whole cigarette bow and smokes it. Next he absentmindedly threw the flaming nicotine box into the lake. It naturaly starts on fire.

"ARGH!!!" screams Goku, who jumps out of the fire and does stop-drop-and roll.

"Woops," saya Sanzo, then walks away.

With Gojyo. He and Hakkai over-come their differences and drive happily into the sunset...Except they weren't in a car...

The End...?

Whoo! Chapter Two! Wasn't it great?! Anyway, please first state in your review if you think this chapter is more insane than the first or not. Why or Why not? Then give your review and/or flame.

Domo Arigato Mister Robato!!!


	3. Jump Through The Sun

Hello again, ame-tennyo here.

Happy Dance Man: Whoa, you're, like, not hyper. What's up?

I'm sad. I only have one fan keeping up with the story...Or if I have more, they're not reviewing, which I doubt.

Super Titles: Indeed.

But, in order to keep that one person happy, I shall keep typing. For this is the story that never ends, is it not?

Happy Dance Man: It IS not...I mean it is.

Super Titles: Idiot.

Also, please read my other stories. Chibology (anime crossovers), Eternally Entwined (Yu Yu Hakusho), and Poor Fluffy (InuYasha). Arigato.

Chapter Three...Jump Through The Sun.

When we last saw eachother, Goku was burned, Sanzo was smoking, and Hakkai and Gojyo were driving off into the sunset without a car. Well, here we go!

Goku finally got himself not on fire...wait, was that proper english? Well, as long as you know what I mean, it's fine. Anyway, Goku escaped the flames with only a few charred articles of clothing,"I'm still hungry..." he said. Just as he said that, a restaurant falls from the sky of the square planet, and lands next to Goku,"Heh, cool," he walks inside.

With Hakkai and Gojyo. They are still driving along without a car,"Where's your jeep, man?" asks Gojyo.

"What's a Jeep Man?" Hakkai asks.

"No, that's not...nevermind..."

Just as Gojyo lost all hope in Hakkai, the jeep forms around them,"I choose not to ask," Gojyo said to himself, and pulled out a cigarette and lights it. He also starts to gamble in the jeep...by himself.

With Sanzo. He was walking away from the burning Goku last we saw him, and know he is retracing his steps, in search of a lost cigarette (he still has some?). He only looks up when he hears an odd noise. The sound of a mob...an angry mob. His gaze falls on a restaurant. This shouting is coming from inside. Sanzo decides to check it out when the sound of metal coming in contact with the back off a neck is heard.

He opens the door. At first he only sees angry chefs and waiters armed with pots and pans. Then he saw that they were forming a circle around what looked like a large bump. A flesh bump. Sanzo makes his way through the crowed and sees that the bump was connected to Goku's head,"What the hell-?!" this exclaimation turns the cooks' attention to him.

"This boy 'ere ate all the food, see, an' 'e di'n't pay fer it," answered a chef.

"Well...Uh...Hm..." was all Sanzo said.

"You with 'im?" asked the cook.

Sanzo turned and ran when the cooks started brandashing their weapons at him. Sanzo bolted out of the restaurant, and was half-way to the lake when he realized he had forgotten Goku,"DAMMIT!!!" he turned around so fast that he nearly fell over, but regained his balance just in time and kept running. He finally made it to the restaurant, ran inside, grabbed Goku (who's head nearly fell off with the weight of the bump on his head), and headed towards the lake.

The chefs' started running after them, angrier than before. Goku jumped out of Sanzo's hands (somehow his bump dissapeared),"What's going on?" he asked.

"No talky, more runny!" was all Sanzo said, and he did just that.

With Hakkai and Gojyo. They are driving along when they hear a stange noise. Gojyo looks behind them and sees Sanzo and Goku running away from a dust cloud. Gojyo swinted to see what was in the dust cloud,"Hakkai, FLOOR IT!!!"

"What? Why?" asked Hakkai, never taking his eyes off the road.

"Never mind that! Insane chefs!!! DRIVE, DAMN YOU!!!" Gojyo takes the wheel from Hakkai. He then pushes down on Hakkai's left leg (the Japanese gas petal leg), and the car accelerates.

Hakkai's eyes twitches, then he punches Gojyo,"NEVER interupt me when I'm driving!" he takes the wheel fron the now unconcious Gojyo. He drives faster than anyone could imagine. Unfortunetly, he reaches the corner of the square planet, and brakes. Will the jeep stop on time?

Sanzo and Goku were nearing the lake. They reach it, and Sanzo jumps over it (while doing a few cool flips). Goku, however, falls into the oil once again,"Get out of there!" yells Sanzo. Goku swims out,"You're covered in oil. Take a bath!" with that, Goku jumps back into the lake, forgetting it is oil,"NOT NOW! LATER! GET OUT!!!" screams Sanzo, as the depraved cooks close in. Goku jumps out, and the two start to run again.

The brakes sceech horribly as Hakkai tries to stop. Gojyo is now awake, screaming his head off. Falling off the planet wouldn't be so bad, it's just that this planet's sun was right within the jumping distance off the momentumus jeep.

The jeep doesn't stop on time. The two fall off the planet and head toward the sun. Oddly enough, they go right THROUGH to sun, and land safely on Earth. They keep driving.

Sanzo has seens this miraculous feat, and jumps off the edge off the planet, falls through the sun, and lands in the back of the jeep. Goku does the same, but do to the oil, burns yet again. Only his sleeves burn off, and he lands in the jeep as well.

The End...?

WHEW! That was the longest chapter yet! I feel so accomplished! Please review! And yes, this chapter was meant to be more jam-packed with action.


	4. A Little Christmas Cheer

Yo! 'Sup homies? How is yo mama?

Happy Dance Man: Oh, my God, she's gone street!

Psych! I'm not street...Not that street-smart people aren't cool or anything...I'm just not one of them.

Super Titles: Standard disclaimers apply!

Note: Always remember, everyone is OOC.

Chapter Four...A Little Christmas Cheer.

"Jingle bells, Sanzo smells,

Goku laid an egg,

Hakkai's jeep lost a wheel,

and Gojyo got away!"

"I DO NOT smell...make your songs more accurate, dammit!" yelled Sanzo from the back seat of the jeep. They were still on Earth; they could not go back to the square planets, for fear of angry chefs.

"Ah, come on! Have some holiday spirit, Sanzo!" cheered Goku. He was the one singing.

"You really shouldn't swear. For a monk, you sure aren't monkey," said Gojyo from the front seat.

"I'M the monkey!" proclaimed Goku.

"Yeah I know...that wasn't what...Oh, never mind..."

Meanwhile, somewhere in the universe, an all-powerful being had heard the following,"Make your songs more accurate, dammit!". The being agreed,"It shall be so," it said.

Back in the jeep, Hakkai was explaining,"In Japanese, Christmas is pronouced Kurisumasu."

"Of course you'd know that! We ARE from Japan," stated Gojyo. Just as he finished his sentence, the jeep suddenly lurched forward, but then returned to normal,"Dude, who gave you a license?!" yelled Gojyo.

"It wasn't me!" shrieked Hakkai.

"Then what-!...Is that SMELL?!" Gojyo was correct. An odd smell filled the jeep riders' noses. It was a cross between rotten eggs, rotten fish, old sweaty gym socks, skunk, and old woman's perfume. It was coming from the back seat. Hakkai and Gojyo turned around (Hakkai's still driving somehow), and saw Goku passed out next to Sanzo.

"What?" asked Sanzo.

"It's you!" yelled Hakkai.

"WHAT?! You think I smell?!"

Instaneously, Goku awoke,"It's just like my song!!!"

"I don't care! Get him out off my jeep!" Gojyo responds by pushing Sanzo out of the jeep. Then he turns to Goku,"Goku, what was the next part of your song?"

"Um...Let's see...Jingle bells, Sanzo smells, Goku laid a..." Goku pales.

"Laid a-? Laid a what? Chic?" asked Gojyo, earning a punch in the ribs from Hakkai.

"I lay an egg...," said Goku.

"...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" laughed both Gojyo and Hakkai. Suddenly, Goku sits in an odd position. He makes many loud moaning noises.

"Dude! Not here!" yelled Gojyo.

"No! Not in my jeep!" yelled Hakkai. But it was too late. Goku laid his egg (with his clothes on somehow).

"...Okay, what happens next?" asks Gojyo.

"Shh...It's sleeping," shushed Goku,"Um, Goku laid an egg, Hakkai's jeep lost a wheel-" just as he said that, the jeep leaned to the side as a wheel went flying.

"NOOOOO!!! Why must these things keep happening to my jeep?!" yells Hakkai. The vehicle slows to a stop.

"Okay, now what?" asks Gojyo.

"Hakkai's jeep lost a wheel, and Gojyo got away," answers Goku. A few seconds go by, then Gojyo walks away.

The end of another chapter! You like? I like!

Review, please!

Domo Arigato Mister Robato!


	5. The Continuation

It is chapter five, everyone!!! I feel so accomplished!!! WOOT!!!

Super Titles: I'm not even bothering with the disclaimer. If you want to read one, go back into previous chapters.

Happy Dance Man: Moo.

Note: For those of you who took time to realize that I hadn't put "The End...?" at the end of last chapter, that was intentional. That was only the first half of the real chapter, and this is part two!

Chapter Five...The Continuation

"Okay...okay...," Goku was pacing, thinking of how to reverse the song's mysterious effect on their group. Currently, Sanzo was about a hundred meters away, yelling at Goku for making him smelly. Gojyo was still "getting away", and Hakkai was bandaging up Hakuryu's leg (because a detached wheel is somehow the equivelant of a broken leg).

"Will you please stop pacing; you're getting me motion sick," said Hakkai, as he sat down and madeHakuryu lie down, too, as to not harm it's leg anymore. Goku follows suit, and sits next to Hakkai on the desert-like dirt of the evironment they were in.

"Uh, Hakkai?" Goku asks.

"Hm?" Hakkai answers.

"You're not mad at me, are you?"

"What? For giving birth to an unholy creature in the back seat of my jeep, causing it to stink up by Sanzo, and breaking Hakuryu's leg?...No, never," he added sarcastically, but Goku took it as a serious statement.

"Thanks...," said Goku, then he went back to pondering a way to reverse things, all while absentmindedly petting his newly hatched child/bird/monkey.

"What was the song again?" asked Hakkai.

"Huh?...Um, Jingle bells, Sanzo smells-"

"I DO NOT!!!" yelled Sanzo from afar.

"Goku layed an egg, Hakkai's jeep lost a wheel, and Gojyo got away," answered Goku.

"Hm...," thought Hakkai.

Meanwhile, out in the midst of the desert-like terrain, Gojyo came upon a mirage. The mirage showed a groups of young women, all facing away from him,"Hello, ladies," he said, not knowing that the mirage was actually real. The women all turned to him, revealing their extreme homelyness. Gojyo gaped,"...Well, since you're just mirages, I can just keep going, and not have to run from you," he attempts to walk through them, only to realize that they were quite solid. Gojyo looked up into the now evil smiling/hungry faces of the ugly women,"...Oh, shit..."

Back with Goku and Hakkai. They are watching Sanzo attempt to cleanse his shirt of stinkyness, but the spell that the song had cast repelled all kinds of soap, disinfectant, and fire.

"AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!"

Goku, Hakkai, and Sanzo all look up to see Gojyo running for dear life. He was being chased by the ugly women. He runs past them, and Goku gets an idea. He stands up,"EUREKA!!!" he shouts.

"What's up?" asks Hakkai.

"All I have to do is sing the same song, but replace the words with different context!!! It's so simple, I can't believe it's not butter!" proclaimed Goku, making Hakki and Sanzo stare at him,"Oh, uh...I mean I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier!!!"

Suddenly, Goku's child/bird/monkey flies away. Goku tears up,"They grow up so fast...," he says, wiping away a tear,"BUT NEVERMIND THAT!!!"

Hakkai decides that it is wise to distance himself and Hakuryu for what was about to happen.

Goku takes a very, very, very, very, very, VERY deep breath and says the following unneccesarilly loudly:

"Jingle bells, Sanzo's swell,

Goku wears a headband,

Hakkai has a pet dragon,

and Gojyo runs away (from all the ugly women)!"

The all-powerful being heres this, and makes it so.

Sanzo's stank instantly dissapears, and he practically jumps for joy, but falls instead. He stands up and smokes a cigarette.

Hakuryu's leg instantly heals, and Hakkai tells it to turn back into a jeep and it does.

Goku's odd ability to birth children/birs/monkeys dissapears.

And...Gojyo keeps running from the ugly women,"You guys aren't fair!!!" he shouts.

Hakkai jumps into his jeep and starts the engine. He backs up and Goku jumps into the back seat. Hakkai keeps backing up, and Sanzo jumps in the back as well. Hakkai puts his car in drive and slams the gas petal. They drive toward Gojyo, run into him, he flies, but falls into the passenger seat.

"Are you alright?" asks Hakkai.

"Nevermind that! DRIVE!!!" ordered Gojyo, and the four speed off in to the deep unknown of the desert...the ugly women still chasing after Gojyo.

The End...?

Do, do, da, DO!!! Another chapter done! Next time, They boys' adventure in the good ol' U. S. of A.!!!

Reviewing will be much appreciated!!!


	6. Once Upon A Time In New York

MY COMPUTER HAS MENTAL ISSUES!!! Anyway, I'm updating. Bon Appetit!!!

CHAPTER SIX!!!

A special thanks to C.T Saiyukily Twisted for being my first reviewer and reviewing every chapter so far!!!

I own nothing! NOOOOOOTHIIIIING!!! (but my stuff)

Chapter Six...Once Upon A Time In New York

As was in last chapter, the four boys were driving along in no apparent place, until--

VROOOM!!! When a car that was heading right toward the jeep, but it swearved and the driver flipped the four off and cursed at them in an odd language.

"Tell me something," asked Sanzo,"Was that maniac speaking...English?"

"Sounded like it...," agreed Hakkai. They all look up and see very tall buildings surrounding the road they were on. Cars kept coming at them and swerving and the drivers kept yelling at them for driving on the wrong side of the road.

"Odd...Oh, my God...I think...I think we're in...New York, New York," stammered Hakkai.

"The Big Apple?" asked Goku, who was chowing on some riceballs,"I thought that place was a myth, an URBAN myth."

"No, you idiot," said Gojyo,"Giant apples are an urban myth, not the Big Apple."

"I'm confused and dizzy..."

"I heard that there's bars, and casinos, and women, and...See ya!" shouted Gojyo, who promptly jumped out of the moving vehicle.

"THAT'S DANGEROUS!...Oh, well...," sighed Hakkai.

"I'm gonna get out too, bye!" claimed Sanzo, before jumping out in the same fashoin.

"...Both of them..."

"Um, Hakkai?" asked Goku.

"Yes?"

Goku stared for a moment,"Are there restaurant here?"

"Yeah, I think so. Why?" Goku had already jumped out,"I'm all alone...SWEET!" Hakkai then proceeded to press his brakes to the floor and, well, floored it. This caused more digruntled New Yorkers to yell and swear at the "crazy Jap".

Meanwhile, Gojyo strode into the nearest bar and immediatly started an interesting conversation with the bartender (woman). He pulled out a cigarette and started smoking, and then ordered the most potent drink they had.

Elsewhere, Sanzo was walking down the street. New Yorker girls whispered to eachother about his odd attire,"You got a problem, ladies?" Sanzo asked, pionting his gun at them. They turned around and ran screaming. Sanzo continued his stride.

Meanwhile elsewhere, Goku was walking along a different road. He looked up at a random moment and saw many different types of restaurants from all over the world all along the same street.

"Sweet mother of...I've struck the jackpot oil-well!!!" Goku cried,"American fast food, Chinese, Italian, Indian, Australian, German, even Japanese!!! The last time I've eaten was...The last time!"

Goku rushed out into oncoming traffic, the only thought running through his mind was how much he was going to eat at each restaurant. VROOM!!! Went cars as they swearved to pass him up. As you might imagine, this caused major accidents.

"GAH!!! Stupid kids and their 'I'm dumb and walk in streets' act!!!" yelled Hakkai as he avoided Goku as well, unaware of the boys identity. He drove of (he has learned by now the ways New Yorkers "greet" middle finger cough).

Goku walks into the nearest restaurant, which was Italian. A wonderful, tomato-y smell teasingly wafted under Goku's nostrils,"...Mm...Squid..." (yes Goku, squid... sweatdrop)

Goku walks past the waitress at the front who takes peoples names and tells them to wait,"Um, sir, you can't go back there...Sir!"

In a daze, still following the smell,"No hable enrish, madmoiselle-chan..."

"...What country is he from?" the waitress asked herself.

The doors to the kitchen open, reveiling a dazed young man to the cooks,"'ey! We don'ta servea no stoned kidsa no more!!!" yelled one cook.

"Oh, quit the accent, Bob, you're only insulting yourself," said another cook. Goku's stomach growls loud enough the shake the pots that were molecules!!!" cried Goku as he jumped up in the air.

"AAAHHH!" screamed the cooks as they leaped out of the boy's path,"NOOO!!! Not the mozzerella!!!" cried Bob, as he thrusts himself at Goku. Goku kicks him in a place shall remain nameless and heads for the (still in the process of cooking) food. He lands in a large (boiling) pot, and starts to eat what ever he mouth reaches. Bits and peices if italian fly everywhere.

Meanwhile, Gojyo now had a group of women around him. They gasp when he tells the climax of an exciting story he went through in real life,"Oh, you brave son!" cried a woman from Alabama.

"Here's the spare key to my room if you want to...you know," asked a woman from behind Gojyo. He grabs the key without looking at the woman,"Why, is that an invit-" he turns around an his jaw drops, spilling out the alchohal he just sipped.

Before him stood either an eight-month pregnant woman in a tube top and short skirt with numerous tattoes and piercings and a bad dental plan, or some kind of govermental experiment.

"Um...I-I just remembered...I gotta go meet up with my pal, ya see, he's waitin'...," Gojyo studdered as the keys dropped to the floor.

"Oh?" said a woman who seemed to have a bad smell up her nose,"You'd rather see a boyfriend then spent a night with a girl? Whattera, gay?"

All Gojyo heard was "gay" because of her accent,"You wanna start somethin' bitch?!"

"Maybe I do," she snapped her fingers, and about twenty other women stand behind her.

"...," Gojyo stood up,"Well...uh...GEEGAH!!!" he jumped out the nearest window.

"Hey, you little bastard! You didn't pay your tab!!!" bellowed the waitress.

"Come on, girls!" yelled the woman with the "invitation". All of the women pulled out either a gun, mallet, or some other instrument of torture. They charge out the doors of the bar. Some men sitting in the back say the following,"That prick got all the chics! Get 'em!" the guys charge out after the mob of women.

The manager had only one thing to say,"Well, SOMEBODY'S gettin' fired."

Elsewhere, Sanzo was still striding along the street. He kept walking until he saw a large group of people were crowded around a window to a T.V. store. Sanzo pointed his gun at everyone and got ahead of the crowd.

"Today, on the 6 o'clock news...," said the anchor man on the many screens.

"Um, Hank, it's not six...," said the anchorwoman.

"It is in Japan, Gloria," the pair laughed.

_"No, it's not..._," thought Sanzo.

"Back on track, Todays headlines are..," the anchor man continues. Sanzo turns to leave, his attention span spent,"Young brown-haired asian boy wearing a gold headband is eating every morsal of food in every restaurant in the city..." Sanzo turns back around and sees Goku on the screen being chased by the NYPD holding food in his arms.

"HAHA! You'll never catch me, I'm the Gingerbreadman!!!" Goku cried as the cops start to shoot.

"Goku...?" asked Sanzo.

"You now that luney?" asked a person in the crowd.

"Um...no."

"Also, in today's news," said the anchor woman,"Another asian male, who is drunken, with long pink hair in currently being chased by a mob of drunken angry females who are being chased by a mob of drunken horney males."

"Gloria, you can't say that word on the news!" yelped the anchor man.

"What, asian?"

"GAH!!! Get away from me, you Americans!!!" cried Gojyo on the screen.

"Gojyo...?" asked Sanzo, his jaw slack.

"You know that drunk?" asked the same bystander.

"Um...no."

"Also in other news, yet ANOTHER asian male is driving in a jeep, speeding along the roads, possibly on drugs. He is causing many costly accidents in his wake. Oh? What's this? He seems to be chanting something..."

"...Livin' in a gangster's paradise!!!" yelled Hakkai as he speed, chased by more NYPD.

"He seems to be chanting lines from a famous rapper's song!"

"Hakkai...?" asked Sanzo, who was know on his knees.

"You know that crazy Jap?" asked the bystander.

"Um...no."

THISISTHEENDOFTHISCHAPTER

Whew, it's long. Next time, how Sanzo gets his friends out of major, major, MAJOR jail time (and drug rehab)!!!

Review, onegai!


	7. Jail Time, Schmail Time

Who loves the chocolate? Everybody loves the chocolate! 'Cuz nobody hates the chocolate! 'Cuz everybody loves the chocolate!

...Um, yeah.

I'm sick today, and typing and interneting is the only thing I'm allowed to do besides sleep. Oh, what I'd give to be able to run around in circles, laughing and giggling, without hacking up a lung.

Chapter Seven...Jail Time, Schmail Time

"_Okay, think Sanzo. Hakkai's going to be thrown in drug rehab and a mental institution...Gojyo's going to be trampled at his own expense, but the media's fortune...and Goku's going to be thrown in jail...no, prison...that's more like it_," thought Sanzo as he paced in a back alley.

"Hey, nice dress," said a nearby hobo.

"Shut up," growled Sanzo. He leaned against the wall (covered in graffiti and muck) and stroked his invisble beard,"Hm... Hm... Hum... _Hmmm_... **Huummm**... Hrrruumm... This isn't working! Grr! Why am I the only one that is smart enough not to anger the American authorities?...I had faith in you Hakkai! Damn you! DAMN YOU **_ALL_**!"

"Ah, shut up!" yelled another hobo as he threw an empty food can at Sanzo. Sanzo stepped to the side to avoid it.

"Hey Herb!" asked the hobo to the first one,"Who am I?" the hobo picked up the can and crushed it to make it cone-shaped. He spoke into the smaller end, in a mocking voice,"Hey, hey you! You're under arrest!"

"Ahaha! That's great! You're the NYPD!" laughed "Herb".

Tick, tick, tick, tick (went Sanzo's brain) tick, tick, tick, tick...DING! "I'VE GOT IT!" exclaimed Sanzo as he headed out to the street once more.

"Oh? Dinner's ready," said Herb, as he went to stop the timer they had rescued from the trash. He then picked their meal off of a small fire they had started.

"Thank you, street bretheren!" yelled Sanzo as he ran out into the distance.

"What'd we do?" asked the other hobo.

"Best not to ask...Especially when dealing with luneys..."

Sanzo ran down the street, headed toward another, where Goku was supposedly being chased right now,"How could I have missed something as simple as THAT? I mean...it's so simple!"

With Goku. Goku was still being chased by cops. The cops were old and not as full of energy as Goku; they were sweating bulllets...and shooting them.

"MUHAHAHAHA! chomp AHAHAHAHA! munch," cackled Goku as he ate some Chinese out of the takeout box.

"Damn that kid! He's not human!" cried an officer.

Goku latched on to the side off a building, and started climbing. Once he reached the top (fifty stories up), the police just got to the bottom of the building,"MUHOHOHO! Just TRY and catch me now! With the mystical powers of the Chinese swimming within my internal organs, NO ONE CAN STOP ME!"

"Go! Charge him from the back! Through the building!" yelled the captain. Several officers go into the building and (pass up the elevator) climb up the stairs.

"MUHAHAHAHAHA -ah?" Goku turns around, and sees several cops come through the door leading to the roof,"Damn, they're fast...Oh, well. I guess I gotta...," Goku looks down, and only sees a one way trip to pancake-ism,"...Shit."

"GET HIM!" yelled an officer, and all of the cops charged at Goku.

"NOOOO! Chinese cuisine, why have you betrayed meeeee!" yelped Goku as the cops placed hand-cuffs on the monkey's wrists.

"You have the right to be silent," said one officer, as he made Goku walk back down the stairs.

"NEVER! I'll talk as much as I want to! LALALALALALALA! MOOOOOOO! CHIFFLIGUM!...Okay, I'm done."

With Gojyo. He was still being chased,"DAMN YOU _AAAAALL_!" he screamed. Suddenly, a police car drove in back of Gojyo, and in front of the angry drunken women.

"Thank GOD!" Gojyo said as the cop got out of his car, and started asking the women questions. The cop walks up to Gojyo,"So, um, I can go now, right?"

"You're under arrest," said the police officer, as he placed hand-cuffs on Gojyo's wrists.

"WHAT! WHY!"

"These women claim you were sexually assaulting them."

"Bullshit! It's vice-versa, you moron! Besides, if _I_ was sexually assaulting _them_, why would _they_ be chasing _me_!" Gojyo roared.

"Look, pal, do wanna get tazered?" said the officer, as he reached for something in his belt.

"Um, no...Hey, how can I be talking to you right now?"

"Just get in the car," with that, Gojyo was shoved in the back seat.

With Hakkai. He was still driving along the streets, on the wrong side of the road, being chased by the NYPD. He turns on the radio,"BREAKING NEWS!" screamed the voice coming from the radio,"Two of the three possibly insane asian males have been arrested! They are being taken in as I speak for questioning."

"Oh? Is that so?" asked Hakkai,"Oh, well...It was fun while it lasted."

Hakkai slams on his brakes, causing almost all of the police cars to vear off the road to avoid him. One car drives up to Hakkai's side of the jeep,"You realize you're going in for questioning now, right?" asked the officer.

"Um...I don't speak your language, sir," answered Hakkai, smiling.

"Oh? A wise crack, is it?" the officer gets out and drags Hakkai out of his jeep. He places hand-cuffs on Hakkai's wrists,"You're under arrest."

"Oh? Come on, Hakuryu!" Hakkai's jeep turns back into his dragon, and rests on his shoulder.

"Damn Japanese and their technologically advanced cars," mumbled the cop, as he sat Hakkai down in the back seat of the car. He sarted to drive towards what Hakkai could only assume was the police station. The cop said something into his walkie-talkie thing.

On the radio,"More breaking news! The third and last of the possibly dangerous asian males has been placed under arrest. Now, attempts will be made to repair the damages these three terrorists have caused."

"Damn it!" yelled Sanzo as he continued to run down the streets,"Where the hell is the freakin' Police Station!" he runs into a flight of stairs and falls over. He looks up from the ground and sees he ran into, non other than, the Police Station steps,"Well, that's lucky...," he gets up and walks in the doors.

Inside, the police are conducting an interogation with the three "terrorists". They are in a small room with one light shining on the three. Hakkai is in the middle, fingers interlaced and smiling with Hakuryu on his shoulder. Gojyo is to his left, checking out the female guard guarding the door. Goku was on Hakkai's right, ducking under the table now and then to munch on the food he snuck in.

"What are your names?" asked the officer.

"We can't speak your language, sir," said Hakkai politly.

"What is your nationality?"

"Um, didn't you hear me...?"

"What is your reason for terrorising the city today? Were you sent on a mission to do so from your native country? Is this a declaration of war?"

"Huh...? I CAN'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE, sir," Hakkai said each sylable as though speaking to a child learning to speak.

"What is-" the officer started.

"What the fuck's wrong with you!" yelled Gojyo,"Get a translator in here or something!"

"They're not cooperating," the investigator whispered to the guard; which was pretty pointless, because the boys don't understand them,"Go get someone in here who can speak oriental."

"Sir," the female guard said,"Oriental is a type of food. They are Asian."

"Fine, fine, whatever, just get someone."

The guard nods and turns to open the door. And just as the door is wide enough to let the girl through- "ATTENTION, ALL AMERICANS WITHIN THE VICINITY!" yelled a voice that sounded as though on a mega-phone.

"The hell is that!" yelled the officer,"Get the boys and lead them out of here;can't have them alone for one second," he ordered, then he ran out the door, toward the voice. The guard walks to the boys and re-hand-cuffs them. She leads them out, also toward the voice.

"Oi, Hakkai," Goku whispered with difficulty; he had to stuff the remainder of his food into his mouth so the guard wouldn't see it.

"Nani?" answered Hakkai (this conversation is from the guard's point of view; trying to use as much Japanese as possible xD). The guard couldn't understand what the young man asked the elder, but for some reason thought it had to do with "Sanzo's voice", whatever that meant.

As it turns out, the voice was coming from the front desk, where a blonde asian man held the officer at the front desk at gun-point, while standing on the desk. He spoke into the mega-phone he had,"GOOD TO SEE YOU HAVE MY FRIENDS WITH YOU!" his voice echoed.

"Since when does Sanzo speak English?" Gojyo asked Hakkai.

"What do you want!" asked the interogator, also at gun point (how many guns does Sanzo have; or, how many arms...?)

"IT WOULD BE MUCH APRECIATED IF YOU LET MY FRIENDS GO!" answered the blonde man.

"What! These men are under arrest for disturbing the peace of New York!" yelled the officer at the front desk.

"There was peace here?" whispered Goku to the other two.

"YES, BUT, BY LAW, YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY TO ARREST THEM, AND THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT!"

"What! Why is that!" asked the female guard.

"INCASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, THESE BOYS ARE OF ASIAN DECENT. YES, ASIANS RECIDE IN AMERICA, BUT THOSE ASIANS HAVE, WHAT I CALL, "PAPERS". THESE BOYS, IN ESSENCE, HAVE NO "PAPERS", AND ARE TECHNICALLY ILLEGAL IMMAGRINTS, OR TOURISTS, AS SOME CALL THEM. YOU CANNOT ARREST TOURISTS FROM OTHER COUNTRIES, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DO NOT KNOW THE LAWS OF THIS COUNTRY!"

"Yeah, but...shit, he's right," cursed the interogator.

"SO, LET MY PEOPLE GO! IF YOU DON'T, AFTER ALL, THAT WOULD BE A "HATE CRIME". AND THAT'S BAD PUBLICITY. AND PUBLICITY IS THE ONLY THING IN THIS COUNTRY!"

And, so the boys were freed, the paparazzi was silenced, and the four drove off into the sunset in their "damn technalogically advanced car".

The End...?

Yeah! End to the New York saga! Thanx to my friend Okami and her splendid ideas for this chapter!

Next time, the boys vs. The Annoying Elevator! (idea brought to you by: My friend Sango via birthday card!)


	8. The Annoying Elevator

Ohayo (if it's morning)/Konnichi-wa (if it's afternoon or evening), Minna-san!

FYI, today's adventure is based soley on a pic/birthday card from my friend, Sango-chan. Maybe you've seen it? It has the four boys in an elevator looking up at the camera. And for some odd reason, they're in blue suits with yellow ties.

Yesh, very odd indeed...

It's also based on a pointless, one page comic I drew that was a parody of the Tower Of Terror at Disneyland...

THIS is going to be an interesting chapter...

Ahaha, herm, as you can see, I'm not sick no more, soooooo... Here's the chapter!

Chapter Eight...The Annoying Elevator

"Where're we goiiiing?" Goku droned from the backseat for the hundredth time.

"I don't know," Hakkai answered. Gojyo sighed from the passenger's seat,"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?" Gojyo hissed,"Those goddamned chics chased me outta a beer, damnit!" he lights a cigarette and blows the smoke out the... window?

"You're complaining?" Sanzo said,"I'M the one that saved all your asses from jail, drug rehab, and mental institutions!"

GRUUUUMMMBBLEEE!

"Don't tell me, Goku's hungry," Sanzo added.

"Ohmigod! You're, like, psycho or something!" Goku applauded Sanzo. His stomach grumbled again and he curled up in a ball on Sanzo's lap,"Waaahhh... So hungry..."

"I'm truthfully surprised you're not fat, what with all that food you put away," Sanzo said, looking down and observing Goku in his lap.

"Eh? What's this?" Hakkai asked. The other three looked to where Hakkai was looking, and saw a rather tall building in the middle of the nowhere where they were.

"What's a sky scraper doing out here?" Gojyo asked. Goku sprung up out of Sanzo's lap and declared,"MAYBE THERE'S FOOD THERE!" the boy jumps out of the jeep and speeds toward the building. Hakkai follows along with the rest.

At the building. The boys are just outside the door,"I've got an odd feeling about this," Sanzo said. Hakkai agreed, but they stepped in anyway. And the instant they did, their clothes changed.

"Whoo, spiffy," Goku smiled as he looked down at his new attire. All four of them were dressed in the same exact dress. Blue suits and yellow ties.

"Eeeh, sure...," Gojyo replied, picking at the tie.

"How'd this happen? And were's are old clothes?" Sanzo asked.

"I dunno, but I'm thinking of making _this_ my official costume," Hakkai suggested. The four continued deeper into the building and eventually came to what looked like the twin doors of a elevator. There was an Out Of Order sign on it.

"Does it work?" Goku asked, poking the crack in between the doors.

"You gotta press the button," Sanzo did just that, and the doors split apart.

A mechanical voice spoke up as the doors stopped moving,"_Hello, and welcome to the_," there was some interference, so the boys never learned the name of this ride. But they soon would regret ever coming...

They stepped inside as the voice asked where they would like to go,"Um, the top floor, maybe?" Gojyo suggested. And before any of them even pressed the button for the top floor, the elevator, it sprung to life and started moving.

Goku grasped the sides of the moving box, Hakkai rested an arm casually on the arm rest, and Gojyo pulled out a cigarette and crossed his arms.

"_Is there anything else that I can do?_" the elevator asked in monotone.

"Anything else? You do other things?" Sanzo asked.

"_Yes..._," for some reason, the inanimate object sounded menacing,"_Are you perhaps wondering why you are dressed as such? Well, let me tell you. Long ago, when this building was randomly placed in the middle of nowhere, I was placed within it. No one ever came. I got lonely, until one day, a squirrel arrived and asked if it could ride on me. I was ecstatic. We went up and down, up and down for many, many hours. Then, tragity struck._"

"What happened?" Goku asked, wide eyed,"Um, and can I have some popcorn?" the machine clicked and whired, and out of a mysterious location popcorn was handed to Goku,"Sankyu!"

"_Continuing with my epic, the squirrel died. If I had eyes, I would have cried._"

"Heh, that rhymed..."

"_Yes... Did I ever mention the squirrel was wearing a suit like you're wearing now?_"

"Okay, this is getting a little too weird," Gojyo declared. He faced the doors,"Let me off," nothing happened,"I said, let me off!"

The elevator answered in a strange, annoying, squeaky voice,"_I'm sorry, but I can't do that._"

"That...is just fucked up," Sanzo muttered.

"And why's that?" Gojyo asked the elevator.

"_Because... I am the ghost of the squirrel! Anyone who is dumb enough to come onto an elevator that says Out Of Order shall get an Out Of Order elevator! MUHAHAHA! You shall get the ride of your lives!_"

"Wha?" Gojyo didn't get to finish his sentance fragment.

_"Wheeheeheehee! We're goin' up now!_" the elevator goes up faster than any sensible state would allow. They boys all slam into the floor of the elevator.

"Damnit!" one of them cried. They couldn't tell any more, they were all sick from the speed.

"_We're goin' down now!_"

"NOOO!"

It was too late. The elevator went down at the same speed, and the boys slammed into the roof with multiple crunching noises. Then, it stopped. Due to gravity, the boys fells back onto the floor. They all paused and got up slowly at different times.

Goku sniffed,"M-my popcorn..."

"_I bet you all want to get off now, yes?_"

"YES!" they all shouted.

"_Alright... leave me alone again for two decades... I won't mind_," the elevator fakely sniffed.

"And none of us would mind doing that," Gojyo mumbled.

_"Alright. But I have one last request. Then you can go._"

"And what would that be?" Sanzo asked.

"_Pose for a picture!_"

"Eh? No way!" Goku cried.

"_DO IT OR DIE!_"

"Eep! Fine, ya fussy bitch!"

The four got back into their original positions. Gojyo balancing the cigarette in his mouth with arms crossed. Hakkai casually resting on the arm rest. Goku grasping the sides of the elevator. The four looked up at the ceiling and smiled. (Well, except Sanzo) An odd clicking was heard, and the elevator said,"_Thank you for riding the Annoying Elevator! We hope you enjoyed your stay!_"

"Ah, shut up!" Gojyo said kicking the doors as they slid open. The four ran out of the building and instantly were changed into their "normal" clothes.

"Hey," Goku said realized something as Hakkai started the jeep,"That thing never brought us to the top floor like we asked!"

The other three sweatdropped and they drove off once again.

The End...?

Wow, I never thought my stories would have a moral.

Super Titles: This has a moral?

Yes! Never go on elevators that say Out Of Order!

Review, please!


	9. Past Life Meets Present Life

WAAAAAIIITTT! WAIT FOR MEEEEEEE!

(readers slowly walking away, because their story seemingly has been discontinued)

WAIT! I'm right here! I'm here with the new chappie! WAIT, YOU FREAKING RETARDSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

(readers stop, and turn with hope in their eyes)

Here you go! Thankies to Sango-chan and her idea for the chapteeeeeeeeer!

Chapter Nine...Past Life Meets Present Life

Long ago, before our boys, Hakkai, Sanzo, Gojyo and Goku, were, well, Hakkai, Sanzo, Gojyo and Goku, they were Tenpu, Konzen, Kenren and... Goku. Amazing, ne? What does that have to do with our boys now? Weeeeell...

A flash of bluey light, much like you would see on Star Trek, or Star Wars, or some other "Starry" show, flashes in the middle of nowhere that our boys were driving in, "Holy, connolies, where are we?"

"We seem to be in the future..."

"How can you tell? This place don't seem very futury."

VROOOOM!

"Eh? What's that?"

SPLAT!

Hakkai hums a melody to himself as he drives Jeep. Sanzo, sitting shot-gun (am I the only one who noticed Gojyo was shot-gun this whole story?), looks up as an odd splat sound fills his ears, and the jeep bumps a bit, "What was that?"

"Hmmm?" Hakkai says.

"Speed bumps?" Goku asked. Gojyo bonkes him on his head, "Baka saru! Why would there be speed bumps out here!"

"We saw a freakin' elevator haunted by a squirrel! It's possble!" Goku yelled back.

Sanzo looked behind the jeep as he pointed a gun at his fellow passengers, and Hskksi stops the jeep, "Shit... I think you ran over somebody back there...," Goku looks back as well, "Looks like three people," he says, "Looks like for to me...," Gojyo adds.

"I ran over someone?" Hakkai says pleasently, "Oh, my. I must back up and see who it was and if they're still alive."

"Why'd you put "see if they're alive" second?" Gojyo asked as Hakkai backed the jeep up.

KATHUNK!

"Oh, my. It's seems I've gone too far back, and I must go forward to meet up with the bodies," Hakkai states as he goes forward.

KERPUNK!

"Oh, my. It's seems I've run over them again, and I must back up once more."

BASERK!

"Oh, my-" Sanzo grabs Hakkai's hands, "_Just stop. _Let's go over on foot," he orders. They walk to the bodies, and are quite surprised at what they see.

"Oh, my God...," Gojyo whispers, "That dude there, with the short hair... He's hot."

"He looks like you!" Goku yelled.

"Exactly."

"Who are they?" Hakkai asked. There was a long pause, until Gojyo broke it once more, "Oh, my God, I think you just ran over ourselves," stated Gojyo, wide-eyed.

What?" Sanzo asked.

"This would only happen in a fangirl's freaked up fanfiction," Goku blinked, causing the other three to stare at him.

"Excuse me?" Sanzo asked.

Goku jumped, "Erg, I didn't say we were mere puppets to a mentaly insane woman! Heh, heh, heh, quite the contrary...! HONEST! Erg, I'm just digging my own grave...," the monkey pulls out a remote control and presses rewind.

"Oh, my god, I think you just ran over ourselves," Gojyo says once more. Goku breathes a sigh of relief.

"What?"

"Hak-kai-ran-ov-er-our-selves," Gojyo said, as though speaking to a mentally retarded man. Sanzo whacks him with his paper fan, "Stop it with the wise-cracks, jackass!"

Suddenly, the bodies move, causing Goku to scream and hide behind Sanzo, "Zombies...!" Sanzo whacked him with the paper fan, "Owie!"

"Holy Frigolies!" one of the men that were run over say, "Who're you!"

"Will you stop saying "Holy", Goku!" the short-haired man Gojyo dubbed "hot" yelled as he got up too.

"Stop telling me what to do, Kenren!"

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!" yelled another man.

"Wah! You yell too much, Konzen! Your voice's gonna die soon!" the other Goku cried.

"Voices can't die, moron!" Kenren said.

"Now, now, you three...," the last man said, as they all stood up.

"How can you be so peaceful, Tenpu?" Sanzo asked the man in a white lab coat.

"Eeeeerm, excuse me?" our Goku asked, "Who are you?"

A few hours later after several arguments, and rants, the eight are talking to whom they firgued out was their past self. That is, Hakkai was talking to Tenpu, Goku was talking to Goku, Sanzo was talking to Konzen, and Gojyo was talking to Kenren.

"So, who of your companions do you want to kill the most?" Sanzo asked Konzen.

"Oh, I can't choose. I want to kill them all for their own reasons..."

"So true, so true..."

"Lovely weather, isn't it?" Hakkai said to Tnepu. They bothe beared happy, peaceful, contented smile upon their faces, "Oh, yes, yes... Sigh... It's so nice talking to you...," Tenpu sighs, "Ah, same here, same here..."

"So, how many chicks have you done?" Gojyo asks Kenren, who smile conspicuosly, "Oooooh, about this many...," he spread his arms to a length, "Ooh, impressive," Gojyo coments.

"When was the last time you ate?" Goku asked Goku.

"I was eating this giant sub sandwich just before we poofed here... Waaah... It's probably rotting right now..."

"What a waste... I'm hungry now..."

"Me, too..."

"Waaaaaaaah..."

"Waaaaaaaah..."

Suddenly, the blue light appears once more, and the boys' past lives poof out back to their time, "NNOOOOOO!" Gojyo cried, "You were gonna recommend a time of alchohol to meeeeeeeeee! YOU BASTARD!"

"Ack!" Goku cried from behind them.

"What is it?" Hakkai said.

"S-s-s-s-s-s-STICK FIGURES!"

"Stick figures...?"

And lo and behold, stick figures were charging at them, yelling drunken curses, "Everyone! Back to the jeep!" Sanzo ordered. The boys did so, and they speed off once more, leaving the stick figures to fall into a hole that appeared out of nowhere.

Meanwhile, back in time. Goku was practically crying as he ate the rest of his beloved sub sandwich, "Soooo goooood..."

"Uh, dude, there's sand on it...," Kenren mutters.

"Just let him be," Tenpu recommended.

"You're all idiots...," Konzen sighed.

The End...?

Another chapter, done and outta teh way...

Sigh...

Review, please!


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